New Year's Honours
Alright, a few years ago, I had this post on my version of the New Year Honours given out by the Queen every year. I just decided that I should revive that tradition, and take the time to poke fun yet again at people I know. So without further ado, here goes.
The Aristotle Award for Deepest Philosopher -- Zen (Was there any doubt about this? He says he doesn't wanna come across as philosophical, but who are we kidding?)
Best Mentor -- Sam Chia (Well, I don't think she reads this, but ah well, no other real challengers)
The Gossip Girl Award for Best Clique -- MJK! (Always guaranteed a laugh and a good time)
Best person to tease -- Right, this could have gone to anyone I've met, since well, that's what I do, but this award goes ultimately to the very handsome, very dashing, Daniel Keng. Yeah, that's right, I gave myself an award. So sue me.
The Couch Potato Award for Best Reality TV Fellow Junkie -- KarL
Quote of the Year -- Alicia WHEE ("OMG. Fucker of the universe!" It's one quote which will go down in history as one of the funniest lines.)
Cutest Guy With The Most Dubious-sounding Concocted Name - Dylan Er Wei Shen
The Life-Makes-Fools-Outta-Us-All Award for Best Unlikable turned Likable -- Alicia WHEE.
Best Brother - Larribird
Most meaningful, un-cliche MSN convos -- Zen
The Britney Hilton Award for Stupidest 9-Pointer Alive -- Jasmine Koh (Oh damn, I hope someone googles her name)
Nicest guy -- Chua Yida (Let's sing it together, all together now, "All he wants for Christmas is his hair...")
Fiercest-looking nice guy -- Mr Loo Zhen Hao
Best Sister -- Uh. Shit. I may have backed myself into a hole for this one. I say, it's a TIE. ALL of WG deserve this.
The Elmo Award for People Who Are Afraid of Harmless Things Like Elmo -- LHS (ahem greenranger ahem)
Best Bunny -- Ryna Lim (Oh shit I'm gonna get screwed for this.)
Best Bitching Partner -- Farah Ismail
Most Confused Person -- Jasmine Koh
The "A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed" Award -- Edna Pang (Fiasco, word of the year.)
The Bellatrix Lestrange Award for Most Irritable Bitch -- Goes without saying.
The Constant Latecomer -- I'm tempted to give this to every girl I meet, but this undoubtedly goes to Miss Stacy.
The Easiest To Irritate Award -- Miss Gan.
The Keynesian Award for Most Economical Person -- Gan Pin Hui
The Dirt! Award for Best Bitching Target -- Two-way tie between a Father, and a Bitch.
Alright, to those who won, great. To those who missed out, close, but no cake. Other than that, bitch away about these results all ya like, I'm just gonna watch the fallout.
This is Dan, signing off.
