This rant has been coming. For a long while now. It's always been boiling, but now, I'm ready to unleash the fury. So I don't care how I come across, I'm just gonna flat out bitch.
Fact : Daniel is fat.
Fact : Daniel has been fat for most of his life.
Fact : Daniel has been called fat by people around him, for a very long time.
Fact : Daniel usually doesnt care when he's called fat.
Fact : Daniel usually isnt affected by any suaning.
That's where the trivia stops. For it's one thing to be called fat, it's one thing to be treated as filler joking material. It's one thing to be labelled fat and teased about weight. But when does fair teasing and poking fun, which I'm inclined to do so myself at times, become too much? The answer to that is simple. When harmless teasing, transcends into incessant harping.
It's not that I mind being called fat, a cue ball, the digit zero, pear-shaped, flatulant, horizontally inclined, plump, chubby, corpulent, fleshy, full, gross, obese, overweight, portly, pudgy, roly-poly, rotund, round, tubby, beefy, bulky, chunky, heavy, heavyset, stocky, stout, thick, thickset, weighty; brawny, burly, husky; dumpy, squat, stubby; paunchy, potbellied; flabby, soft or buxom.
What I mind is being harped on. I used to think I had thick skin, but you know what? Even the thickest of skins can be penetrated, that's why you have Kevlar, damnit. Cliche, but not replying or not rebutting doesnt mean I don't mind. It certainly doesnt mean "go ahead, continue, fire at will". It definitely does not mean "Free frag time people, $1 for three tries".
And what's it with people and facades? Just the other day, someone told me this. "Daniel, the reason why people don't like you, the reason why you're public enemy number one, is cos you don't bother to take the effort not to make people irritated with you."
Initial thought that popped in my mind? "Go fornicate with your mother, you Harvey Dent freak.". Of course I wasnt that civilised, but you get the gist. See, the way I was brought up, the way I spent four years of secondary school, was being taught that the only person that you have to be, is yourself. Am I this bastard who has a sailor's mouth and says what he thinks? Yes. Do I do and say things that doesnt please people? Yes. But you know what? THAT'S WHO I AM. If you don't like it, so be it.
I told this analogy to a few people over the last few years. Some people like apples, others like oranges. Rather than try to be an apple and please people who like apples, I rather be the orange that I am and stay true to the people who like oranges. See, I am who I am, and I have little regard for facades and masks that exist solely to fit the whims of the people around the wearer. I know I can't please the world, so I ain't even gonna try. At the end of the day, I know I have imperfections. Hell, I have flaws aplenty. But you know what? I'm secure in the knowledge that my strengths outweigh my flaws, and well, the people who appreciate me, appreciate me for who I am, imperfections et al.
At the end of the day, it goes back to this that I wrote some time ago in an essay. "I now stand in the cusp of a vortex that serves to consume us all, the vortex that claims our identities, principles, and morals. The vortex that is society, serves to do all that." And for now, I'm still willing to fight for my right to be who I am without the need for masks and facades. And if I were to go down, I'm going down fighting and clinging on to that right.
Cos I know, deep down, that who I am, is definitely worth fighting for. And to the person who told me that, I sincerely pray for you man. And the day I'm relegated to believing and saying what you told me, is the day I'll really ask for people to pray for me.
Et al, being fat and obnoxious is my identity. Might not be much, but I'm still proud of it and I think it's still worth clinging on to. And hell, it might make me money one day. Just look at Michael Moore.
Dan is signing off.
FATTY.
