I've found a friend who died for me

Hey all. In a blink of an eye, another year bites the dust, and 2007 can be put into the history books after today. For me, it's been a year filled with many learning curves and new found knowledge, and as promised in a few posts a while back, I'm gonna name some of the people who has made an impact in the last year. Or rather, even including the last four years. This is just a personal account addressed to the person named, so I hope it in no way offends anyone.

Arthur -- Hey man. Really glad I got to know you better this year, especially in the second half of the year. We had a major falling-out which was made worse by our refusal to take the first step to apologise. Right now, we're cool man. I hope we can stay in touch man. It's been great knowing you =).

Alicia -- What can I say? You honestly made a super huge impact in the last year, and I'd be lying if I said I didnt regret anything that happened. I really wanna thank you for opening my eyes, for indirectly helping me to understand how good communication works and how to really be tactful. I know, I still have a long way to go. As we move on with our lives (finally!), just wanna let you know that I'm still very sorry at the way things turned out. I hope there are no hard feelings between us. Thanks for the memories! Oh yeah. If you don't mind, direct Melissa to this blog.=)

CSS -- Hey brother..Thanks for the many wonderful conversations we had over MSN. We've come a long way together, and I know you've had more trials and tribulations in the last four years as compared to anyone I know. Who could have predicted four years ago, that the same guy that went "Don't talk to me about Jesus. I hate Jesus" would have been converted and vocal about God? Next year, we'll still be in the same study environment (for the first three weeks at least), and if there's anything you need, or any difficulty you encounter, you know how to find me. Lastly, don't worry about the opinions the others have about you. Be confident in who you are. Don't change to fit the world, cos you can't please everyone. I'm sorry for the times in which I was mean towards you over the last four years. I just want you to know that deep down, I respect you for all that you've had to go through, all the hell you had to take from the rest of us, and all the trials and tribulations that you had to endure. I have no idea how I'd have handled things, or even if I could have remained sane, if I had to go through all that you did. And no matter how I talk to you, or how lowly I appear to think of you, that's how I really feel towards you deep down. My brother, I love and respect the hell outta you. Persevere on man!

Darren -- Thanks for being there when I was angry, pissed, upset and had to find someone to vent my frustrations on. Hope the last few months of tuition pays off man...Keep in touch!

Jocelyn -- Dear sister, thanks for trusting me that much man. It means alot to me, that you're willing to open up, confide and share your innermost feelings with me. I'm not sure if I could ever trust anyone to the extent that you do. I've seen you mature into a beautiful young woman, but here's a note of caution. The world, and society, is a cold place in which good-natured people like you aren't able to survive. Be more alert to all the politics that are going on around you, and always take precautions of a backstab. As your brother, I'm more than willing to play the part of the "Protector", to help you in whichever way you might require it. I'm willing to lend you a shoulder to cry on, to lend a helping hand, to give you moral support, you name it, you've got it. I have one wish for 2008. At this time next year, on 31st December 2008, I wanna be able to say that we're still as close as we are now. I hope it's not too much to ask. I'll forever be your brother, and as promised, my hand will always be here for you, and I'll walk with you always, even if I appear to be far ahead or behind you. As promised, I won't ever stop, until the day you ask me to. You're the true sister that I never had, and you're worthy of the honour of being the first girl that I'm gonna say this to. I love you.

Larrison -- Brother brother, we've come a long long way together in the last year. Who knew such a close friendship could be sparked by you spitting water into my waterbottle?LOL. My brother, it's been breathtaking, seeing you pluck up the courage to be yourself again and throw the mask away. I remember that there was once you said I was strong. Let me tell you something. You're the strong one. You were able to pick yourself up, rebuild your confidence, and be yourself again in a matter of months. I'd have never been able to do that. I admire you, for your determination to let people like you for who you are. It's heartwarming to walk with you, and to get to know you more. Thank you, for trusting me so much, to confide those feelings with me. I know it wasnt easy for you to trust someone that much. Thank you, my brother, for teaching me what it means to stand by your friends. Thank you, for the opportunity to lend you a listening ear, and if need be, a shoulder to cry on. Thank you, for enabling me to learn the meaning of brotherly love. I insist that we keep in touch. I love you, my brother.

Melissa -- Hey. I hope we're cool man. We may have had our disagreements, but if it's possible, I still wanna remain friends with you, and get to know you better. Peace.

Pin Hui -- Hahaha. How can I not include you in a recap of the year? The phrase "万人之上，一人之下" never seemed so true to me man. Hahaha. Hope you get into a good JC/Poly course, and hope that you maximise your story-telling talents. Who knows? One day, I might have the honour of sharing the same class with an acclaimed writer.

Seow Hung -- First things first. I know I didnt pull my weight as vice-chair. LOL. Who cares right? Haha. It's been nice knowing you, and you're one of those that I really hope to remain in touch with. I know you love 4F, but guess what? You're not alone man. So I hope to see you around sooner rather than later. Who knows? I might need to tell you more stuff in the future..*winks*

Sharlene -- Hey..my personal artist man...Thanks for the help with all the cards and other stuff throughout the two years which I knew you. Jialat la..next time no free artist to help me design stuff. Crap! Haha. Oh ya. Thanks for pushing me to not give up on the friendship. Look what it's become now!

Venessa -- Hahaha. I'll be seeing you again next year. Even if I don't end up staying in NY, keep in touch, yeah?

4F -- It's been a blast having been in the same class with all of ya, for the last two years. I hope we keep in touch, and I hope the spirit of the Farmers will live on, for a long time to come! While our relationships soured towards the end, let's hold on to the many happy memories we've had, and let the exploding BBQ pit be a sign of our bonds together, for many more years to come. Cos our chemistry too good liao...

Squad 4 -- What more can I say, that I haven't already? It's a full stop for almost all of us, and we journey on as friends. Deep down, we all know that the uniforms, batons, rifles, ranks, berets and boots can be taken away, but no matter what, the memories will remain with us, for a long time to come. The NP Chalet really brought down the curtain on 2007 for me on a very high note. You are all welcome to join me in memory lane, as I recall pumping in the quadrangle, all the camps, all the times we ganged up together as a squad to outcast other people, and all the pranks we played on one another. One wish for 2008, is that at this time next year, our NCHS NPCC Squad 4 Blog is still alive, and is still being updated regularly.

That pretty much concludes the list for NCHS people.

Alvan -- Hey man. Good to get to know you better this year. I wanna see your face in TNG more often, cos I believe that together, we can spark revival in Agape. Don't ask me how, but I know we can. Hope that you can be available more often, and hope to have many more laughs together in '08.

Ben -- Hey dude. I wanna tell you something from the heart, and I hope you take this without any offence, cos there's none intended. I honestly feel, that you tend to look at things only from your own perspective. Don't get me wrong. I'm not calling you self-centred. I'm just saying that you have to consider both sides of the coin before reaching conclusions, cos if you don't, chances are that your conclusions will be wrong. You're just too nice, too naive, which makes you all the more susceptible to influences and being taken advantage of. It doesnt mean that just cos you arent out to hurt people, that people aren't out to hurt you. I hope you walk with eyes open, and that you carefully weigh the intentions of others, as well as yourself, before you make decisions to do stuff. As far as I'm concerned, if you're willing, I wanna walk with you, and help you to spot potential dangers, so that you don't get hurt unneccessarily. I wanna walk with you, to guide you and help you get over obstacles, to pull you out of quicksand. My offer will always stand, and I've told you this before. My phone is switched on 24/7, so should you need it, call me, even if it's 3am in the morning. Just don't call and laugh non-stop, cos you don't wanna know the consequences. (this is a second level joke, so if you get it, LAUGH. If you don't, then don't bother figuring it out)

Mich Tia -- I know you're leaving soon, but that's no reason why we can't still keep in touch and update each other. I know that God will keep you safe in a foreign land, and I promise that I'll do my best to keep you updated on Agape. A year's gonna pass very soon, so in a blink of an eye, I'll see you again! God bless man. Thanks for the memories!

Mei Ching -- Again, thanks for the un-cliche MSN conversations. It's fast becoming a hobby. I appreciate the fact that you're willing to share personal stuff with me, and that I can do the same with you, no questions asked. God bless you, and may He grant us many more laughs together (I still wanna prank Cheryl!!)

Samantha -- Thanks for stepping in as Agape's new CGL. I hope we don't give you too many headaches. If we do, well you're not the first leader we've driven up the wall. Just ask Mei Ching. Hahaha. Hope that I can get to know you better in the coming year.

That roughly concludes my list for 2007. Anyone is welcome to drop a tag or contact me on MSN. It's been a blast, and next year promises more of the same! God bless to all readers, and have a Blessed New Year! This is Dan, signing off.

Hey all. Back after a short enforced hiatus due to my com kena-ing some kinda virus/spyware crap. It was a blessing in disguise, cos I took the opportunity to reflect on stuff and really put some thought into other things that admittedly, I didnt really think about before. Bear with me and for those who don't know what's up, don't bother figuring out.

1) I looked back over the last four years. I've realised how far I've come, how far we've all come. If anyone had told me what I'd be in for at that time four years ago I think I would have considered the person mental. I've made so many friends, so many people had impacts on my life. I wonder what I'd be, had each and everyone of my dear friends not been in my life and taught me that many lessons. Some lessons I've learnt the hard way, some through talking to friends and some through giving advice. I'll post a more elaborate post during the final days of the year and I promise I'll put down the names of the people who really have changed me and the people I hope I have made an impact on as well.

2) Many may not know this. When I first entered NCHS, I had just emerged from a primary school which provided me with many experiences. I didn't have any friends, and the one I thought was closest had turned his back. I entered NCHS shattered in confidence and not knowing what life had to offer. I can safely say that in six months in NCHS, I made more friends than I did in six years previously. And these people became the lighthouses for me, the guiding lights that steered me to shore when I was stranded with no direction in life. Because of them I strived to be the person that they could turn to in need, cos that's what they did for me. I love all of them like brothers and sisters, and I can only say, that you all (you know who you are) made me who I am today, and for that I can't thank you guys enough.

3) I know, I know, this has been coming for quite a while. I just wanna state that I aint gonna apologise for anything that I don't feel sorry for, cos I want apologies to be more than just freaking words. I know how egotistical that sounds. I'll say this though. Of all the times I DID apologise, I meant every word of it. I don't care if you believed them, but I did. I wish I could say my conscience is clear, but fact is that it hardly is. This may sound condescending, but what makes you think I sleep well at night, knowing what I've done is donkeyish? What makes you think I enjoyed seeing what once was and could have been a great friendship totally break down? What makes you think I don't feel guilty enough to put you through all that? 9 times out of 10 I struggled making the decisions that I knew would be cruel. And I'm still struggling with the repercussions of those decisions that cost me a good friendship at the very least. Call me egotistical and not tactful and aloof all you want, 10 times out of 10 it's a facade to hide an also aching heart that is pained by the way things turned out. Not a day goes by that I don't wish things could have turned out differently, that we could turn back time and make things work our better. Saying all these is useless now, I know that. And I also know that I don't care how things turn out, I just want things to turn out right. I know I've erred in many ways, but I ain't perfect, and I don't profess to be. Being able to patch and end things on a good note, would be the best damn Christmas present I could have this year. And that isnt bullcrap, it isnt sweet-talking, it isnt being egotistical, it isnt said just for the sake of saying. That's from the heart, believe it or not, cos I do have one too.

For those who are reading this, if you don't know what's going on, or if you don't know me well enough to be in a position to comment, don't. I don't think you'd like the consequences. Till the next time, which should ideally be around Christmas or so, this is Dan signing off.