Putting a new perspective on things
Hey all. As I write this, it's currently 5.32 in the morning. Apart from the small fact that Man United are champions of England, champions of Europe once again, I just can't get back to sleep at the moment. Call it adrenaline, call in sweet taste of victory (though I must say I feel sorry for John Terry), call it whatever you like. All in all, at such an early hour, it always helps me to think and gain new insights on the stuff I've been involved in. So this post will not be a rant going on and on about the glorious Man United, but I just wanna voice a few opinions off-the-cuff. No offence though, and none taken should anyone wanna comment.
Right. I've been thinking lately. Due to my partial involvement in a certain some kinda messy situation, I've been wondering, if I've become the manipulator, the puppet-master, the "Godfather", that I told myself I'd never be. While I admire Yul Kwon for the way he pulled the strings on Survivor Cook Islands, I never thought I could be seen in the same light. From young, I'd always thought that the person worth respecting, is the person behind the scenes who makes all the magic happen on stage. Yet, I ask myself at this stage, if I respect myself for the way I've conducted myself over the last few months. And truth be told, I dunno if I do. There's just something eating at me over the way I've gone about this whole shenanigan.
But yet, I ask myself, is all this called for? Did I bring all of these upon myself? What I do know, is that I made a conscious choice to play a role in all this, and though my role really did not turn out the way I envisioned it, I have no regrets about making that original choice to be involved in all this.
For I realise, I've gained some, lost some.
I won't go into my feelings about losing out on what I'd felt would have been a friendship worth keeping, cos quite frankly, that would take too long, and personally, I'm really still holding on to the hope that it's not the end of the road, that there are still a few more chapters to be written. I won't go into my feelings about possibly being seen as forsaking a friendship for the sake of another, cos that's a story for another day.
For now though, I hope, that I've gained more than I've lost.
That hope, is what I'm holding on to. And that's enough to keep me going.
For now.
