ATF!
Hey all!I'm back...with most of my problems settled and the common test over, all that remains is the moment of truth. I'm talking about the release of the results. Having weathered what I believe is the most trying period in my life, I'd just like to say thanks to those who stood by me (you know who you are) and those who attempted to cheer me up but failed cos you people didnt know what in the blue hell was going on. Right now, I'm just gonna give my reflections on the past few weeks.
Firstly, is that problem. I'm glad it's been settled. Or at least I think it has been. The problem is that I dunno what to think anymore when it comes to this. Whenever I think I've a clear and easy decision or conclusion, something somehow screws up. Well, I hope this really is the end of the problems. But I realize intentions have been misunderstood and misinterpreted. That's the whole freaking problem when people try to act as a go-between instead of a listener cum adviser. I'm not ranting at anyone and no one should take this the wrong way, but really. Assumptions can really lead to big disasters man. I mean, you can choose to do whatever you want, and I understand that people are just looking out for their friends and out of goodwill, but the point is, before we do that, shouldnt we at least make sure everything has been interpreted in the right way? I wont elaborate much but if anyone wants to know why I feel this way, just leave a tag or something like that.
Secondly, was the wonderful trip I had to Pulau Ubin yesterday. 21 of us went for ATF and I will never ever regret signing up for it, even though I doubted my ability to succeed at the tasks at first. ATF brought back memories of OBS. Remember Double Dangle Dual? Well I succeeded in climbing to the top! I was genuinely proud of myself and that I managed to conquer the thing that made me look like a fool during OBS. I completed 4 activities, and each one brought with it different feelings. The common denominator, however was satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment.
Double Dangle Dual made me realise how we can fail at the first attempt, forget about that failure, and try again. OBS people will know what I'm saying cos I really really sucked at it during OBS. But somehow, by God's grace, Wei Siang and I volunteered to go first this time, and got to the top. Although he had some difficulty in helping me up and half the time I imitated a koala bear, it was a really enriching experience and I'm glad that I could share in the accomplishment with him.
The next thing I did was the flying fox. I was apprehensive about it cos I heard it's the longest and highest in Singapore. As I made my way up the tower, different thoughts ran through my mind. I wondered how I would be able to lift myself off the tower cos we were supposed to sit on the edge of the tower and once we were ready, we had to lift ourselves off. Now it's easy to lift yourself off a bed, cos your feet can touch the ground but if your feet are dangling 6 1/2 storeys in the air, it's a different idea altogether. Anyway, I looked down. Strangely, I only felt a tinge of uneasiness. But when I looked forward, I realised from that position, I could see the sea. I could see part of Singapore's main island. I could see the still rising sun. And at that moment, all fear left me. I was amazed by the wondrous scenery around me. And together with Meiqi, we counted together and lifted ourselves of the tower. For fleeting moments, I had the feeling of soaring in the sky. I finally what it means to "sprout wings and soar like an eagle flying high". The view was one that I'll never forget and impressed on me the beauty of creation. The official length of the flying fox was 21.7metres, but it felt like a lot lesser. For within a matter of seconds, it was all over.
After that, I went to do the Advanced Rope Course. It was 9m high and 15m between each station, but it sure as hell seemed higher and longer. With trouble, I crossed the first station which was the usual walking on cables with a guiding rope. The difference from OBS was that the stations all had ladders to aid us when we slip from the cables. All I had to do was to shout "LADDER!!" and someone would push it towards me. That made it easier to get past the first station. Following that was a station in which I had to sit on a platform and push myself across to the next station with a rope as my help. The last station was a killer. I had to stand on a skateboard which was mounted on two cables and slide across using ropes to help me. Had the pulley under the skateboard not been that well oiled, it would have been an easier task. I lost count of the number of times I had lost my balance due to the too fast movement of the skateboard. The thought of giving up did occur to me, but I was like "HELL NO, I didnt get abrasions and sunburns to give up when I'm this close." Having said that, I was fed up with the whole skateboard idea and after a while I just walked on the cables with the ladder to support me. Much easier. When I finally completed the course, the instructors mentioned that I was the first to complete the course after lunch. Not bad eh. I realise how being high up and having little or no support can cause one to panic and give up, but help is always round the corner. Likewise, people in high positions may not have adequate support and that causes major burnouts and such.
The fourth thing was the tunneling activity. We had to negotiate a tunnel which was pitch dark with bare hands. It didnt help that people outside were shouting wrong instructions like turn right cos when we did, our helmets crashed against solid metal walls. Ouch. We went in groups of 5. My group was Junde, Aaron, Hwee Siang and Wei Siang. In that order respectively, with me in the middle. A classic moment occured as we had to climb up on a slope with no solid ground underneath our feet as it was filled with rubber or plastic balls. We managed to climb from the bally part to the slope. Then Junde asked Aaron to support him up. Aaron pushed his big ass up, and Junde accidentally kicked Aaron in the face. Aaron lost stability and started sliding down. Cos I happened to be lying on Aaron's leg, I also started sliding down. My ass crashed into Hwee Siang's face. End of classic moment. When we got out, we recounted what happened to the others. Reactions varied between disgust and total laughter. Not much learned from this, but I realise how one person's moment of unintended action can lead to major consequences. Needless to say, we all blamed Junde.
This trip to Ubin was fun and enriching in so many different ways. I learned things and accomplished many others. It's something I'm gonna take with me for the rest of my life. For it's not everyday I get a second chance to succeed at what I screwed up (Double Dangle Dual). It's not everyday that I get to slide 21.7m in the air. It's not everyday that I get to persevere and try to succeed at things which seem unaccomplishable. It's also not everyday that I get to plant my ass into someone else's face. I realise how lucky and blessed I am to be able to go for ATF. Through all the fun, and pain that will come when my skin starts peeling and my muscle aches, I've learnt things which have to be experienced first-hand. Sometimes life takes us by the hand and leads us to places where we have never been before. Sometimes God tells us things in many small and different ways. And I'm happy and honoured to have shared in this experience with my beloved Squad 4.
In a blink of an eye, March has arrived. Three months ago, I stood on the threshold of what I believe is gonna be the most trying year of my life so far. Now, as the Os draw nearer and nearer, I hope that I can cherish the time left. I hope that I'll leave this school with happy memories and not under a cloud of unhappiness and misery like I left my previous school. I sometimes wonder, if the people that I see everyday has any idea how much of an impact they made on my life. And it is my prayer, that I have been able to have as much of an impact on them, that they have had on me.
I realise that this post might attract many comments and tags. But you're always welcome to do so. For now, this is Dan signing off.
