part two of a trilogy
Hello my medal-winning friend. How are you feeling this morning? I hope you slept well. Now the comments I am about to make are very harsh, so are you sure you can take it?
First of all, I would like to spell out your physical looks. No matter what people tell you in the future, you DO have a Mr Potato Head face. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. At least you are a limited edition Potato Head with a special feature. You have acne. I believe you are one of a kind, unique, special,and this proves just that. Make no mistake, the only two differences there are between you and Mark Lee is that he is better looking and that he is actually talented.
Actually, come to think of it, you DO have a talent. In slamming people that is. And FYI, you have a pig face(horror of horrors I just unwittingly slammed Sista Pig.No offence.SERIOUSLY.). Like Hokkien people say, you have a SI PANG NAO and a TU BIN(ie square-brain-pig-face, basically the worst face-brain combi in the history of God's Green Earth).
Continuing on, you deserve another award. This one is for the person with the worst dress sense EVER. Now considering that you beat Michael Jackson to the award, I must truly congratulate you. Seriously. I mean, who wears boxers so high that even when one wears Full U I still can see your PURPLE boxers. Note to Potato Head: Purple is the international colour for faggots my pimply faced friend.
At this point, I would like to ask: Can you take my comments? *Thrusts chest out and beats it*.You must take my comments, we are MEN and you should be able to. Note: My comments are not directed to you, and I am definitely not trying to slam you. This is USEFUL criticism which you should work on to improve.
Did you know? You won a Guinness World Record for longest sock pull length. How long is long? VERY. It's about the length from your toes to the top of your knee cap. Hey hey Potato Head, that long socks aint called socks no more man. They're usually called pantyhoses/stockings dumbass. What makes this worse? The colour of your socks is black.
I nearly forgot something. Your nice out-of-date black full-framed rimmed glasses. Hey pal, 1998 called, and they say they are sick and tired of you. Also, they tell me we can have you back ANYTIME(btw it IS 2005 already if you haven't noticed). Pay attention: it's either half-framed or frameless glasses.
What can make your physical appearance look better? Let's see. I think Extreme Makeover would consider you extremely ugly and too over-the-hill to have a makeover. The Swan would never give you a free makeover cause they don't want to have a swansong just yet. Therefore basically, unless some reality TV show pops out in the near distant future that provides free makeovers for worthless people, you sure as hell ain't gonna get one. Cause you're too cheapo to spend money to have a real one.
Weeellll. This brings me to the end of my evaluation of Potato Head. I know my comments were harsh, but I am doing this FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. Thank you for your kind attention. Final evaluation: You have the physical presence of a total loser. With a capital L.
